There is Never a Good Reason to Worry
March 15th, 2007 by Ernie
Amazing statement that! Why, I can think of lots of reasons! Money, health, relationship troubles, politics, war – just to name a few. Anyone with half a brain can find easy justification for worry about something!
It’s just that there really isn’t any good reason for it. Really. No joke. Ok, ok, I guess you could say I need to worry about getting hit by the oncoming car in my lane doing 80 and swerving madly….but even then, what’s needed is an efficient response to avoid the wreck if possible, not worry. No time for that…
Take your favorite worry and examine it. Maybe you have cancer, or someone stole your economic identity. Pick one of your own. Now what can you see about the worry around such events? (Actually we worry a lot about events that haven’t occurred but we fear may!). Take one that seems perfectly ‘justifiable’ in the world’s way of understanding things. ‘I could die soon!’ ‘Someone has my social security # and can ruin my life!’ Aren’t these worth worrying about? No.
If you pay real attention to what’s happening when there’s worry, you can catch something remarkable that we don’t usually see: the movement of “me†and it’s incessant concern for it’s “lifeâ€.
Wait! Isn’t that MY life!? Again, no. But it is what’s torturing you with worry (I’m assuming we all can agree that worry is disagreeable, that it hurts). It’s the life where how things turn out is so important, the one everyone takes for granted as real, the one that insists you worry. It’s a life where the turn of events can take ‘you’ with them – whirling up or spiraling down. There is nothing in your authentic nature that can worry or justify worry. You are essentially a warm curious being in whom this tummy-ache of worry is alive. It’s something to take note of, to study, pay attention to, watch carefully and learn from. It is in your interior landscape, but it’s not your life.
Can you catch sight of this? I call the life that justifies worrying, the “time-line lifeâ€. It lives in time, the past moving toward future, where “me†wants things to be ok. If your life is on that time-line, you must worry how things will turn out, good or ill. Of course. But if your life is one in which you are learning all about the time-line life, you are someone entirely different. You are more like a loving parent watching a child disturbed about something that really doesn’t matter but who is crying and upset. This is our interior landscape and we have the capacity to see it and learn all of this. The worry (or fear or anxiety or stress or anger or hate) grabs our attention. How we respond then is critical.
If our minds (thinking, analysis, etc.) jump in to justify the feelings, we are lost, as millions are (unless we see this as it happens). The upset continues and is now ‘justifiable’! I call this ‘justifiable suicide’. Yet, if we become intensely curious, do not try to justify or stop the upset, we might just learn about this whole process inside of us, how it works to cause us distress, and in the process discover who we really are.
How lovely that would be.
When I am mobile & can move & do stuff, like clean out the car, sweep the front porch, cook, go to the grocery & basically run around, I feel better, secure & as if I CAN do “it” (life) but when I’m immobile & need help with my life, having to ask friends (no spouse), neighbors to help me do the smallest thing, I’m scared & depressed (no motion = bad emotion)… life is isolating… what can I do about that? When I wake up I have a sinking feeling in my heart & a sensation in my solar plexus… that’s every morn…
bd, my heart goes out to you… Circumstances can often seem overwhelming. Amazingly, those who have the most reason to stay fearful or angry may be the very ones who find their way out of that trap. They escape to freedom. The suffering itself can motivate us to be willing to give up our old life…
Even though the circumstances of our lives appear to be connected to what we experience inside, it does not have to be that way. We have only to recognize what is not truly us. The actual problem is the identification with that which holds onto the fear. We are not that.
And this is not in the abstract. Like some others, this has come to me (with Ernie’s assistance) during a time which would otherwise seem like the bottom of my life in many ways. From the outside, I have had every reason to be depressed and feel fearful and hopeless. Occasionally it still creeps up on me, and tries to take over again, until I shine the spotlight on that impostor and find that the part that holds the fear is just some set of habits and beliefs. A robot, pretending to be me. What I am, what we all are, is much more than that.
Most of the time I have a deep sense of well-being, regardless of circumstance. Sometimes it seems silly to be happy. As the “rules” of my upbringing would say that I “should” be worried or fearful or panicking. Those thoughts come and go, and I laugh… they have no weight anymore. The direct experience of the truth is too big for mere thoughts.
As Ernie says, all that is necessary is warm, curious, attention. You could say that what you need to “do” is to pay attention. Yet even that is not the case, as the attention already exists. And “Doing Something” to solve a problem is what “me” does. So trying to do something about the fear, resisting it, simply makes it stick around. And “paying attention” with the goal of getting rid of the fear will not work.
What is needed is not to try to change anything, not to resist any experience. But do watch with curiousity… and wonder…
Trying to grab the butterfly will simply crush it… Just watch it with awe…
Thank you, Guy, for your beautiful words… my heart feels hope… I’ve read your words 3x this a.m…. I certainly do not want to crush the butterfly!
After reading Bd’s truth telling response, I am concerned that this person might feel that her/his experience is not genuine and unspiritual. I feel so moved within to share this down to earth Zen story accompanied with my thoughts. It goes something like this:
Once there was a Zen master that went to visit a holy Buddhist monk. He had heard that this holy man had experienced true enlightment. He was so enlightened that birds would fly to him daily and give him flowers.
While the Zen master was visiting him, a tiger suddenly appeared before them. The Zen master screamed with terror. The Buddhist monk said to him, “I see you still have fear in your life”.
Then the Buddhist monk left to go take a pee. While gone, the Zen master drew on the seat where the buddhist had been sitting an inscription of the Buddha (It was considered blasphemy to sit on an inscription of the Buddha) Then the holy Buddhist monk came back and began to squat down on the seat. Just in the nick of time, he saw the inscription on the seat and screamed out loud with fright.
The Zen master then said to him, “Ah ha, I see you still have fear in your life”.
From that day forward the Buddhist monk saw true enlightment and the birds stopped visiting him.
Bd,
There is a very compelling spiritual message out there that says you should be free from all fears and worries and live in bliss (Birds visiting you with flowers) That message can lead to years of trying to seek a life that doesn’t exist. Similar to trying to find a treasure at the end of a rainbow. Yes, there are moments when one may feel like your feet are off the ground and free from all circumstances but that is not the every moment experience one should expect, seek or “grasp” after. Even though this compelling spiritual message of freedom also includes, “don’t resist a thought and just watch with curiosity”, there is an undercurrent message enbedded within it that says, “you are caught and need to be free”. It is more subtle than what the holy Buddhist monk said to the Zen master but there, never the less.
I can only suggest that you really, unconditionaly, do not resist your thoughts, fears, worries and feelings. Remove the spiritual concept from your mind that you might have concerning being caught and needing to be free. That unreal quest will only lead to another down feeling and useless struggling that could be compared to hand wrestling with oneself. Remove the concept that your feelings and thoughts are bad and you need to fix them to good thoughts. Thinking that your mood, feelings and thoughts are bad or not spiritual leads to resistance. Your awakening in this is to embrace your suffering (suffering, as being not bad) and experience it’s true reality. Resistance comes in many forms including a spiritual false identity that is free from human pain and fear. After you sense that all “labeling” (this is good and that is bad)about your experience is removed, sit and embrase your true humanity as it really is. Just be with it. Don’t run or hide from it seeking “visitations with birds offering you flowers”. Put your loving arms around it and hug it. Allow every thought and emotion to arise. Even if labeling your thoughts begins to occur again, hold and embrace that in your arms as well. Wecome everything in.
In the Tao Te Ching, it mentions “being open as the sky”. The sky allows everything into it including pollution. Have you ever seen a jet fighter fly through the air, scarring the sky with it’s trailing polluted fumes? The sky does not resist it. It welcomes it in. Then you will notice the sky takes these seemingly negative trailing fumes, and carries them to it’s sunset. It then transforms the fumes into a marvelous, spectacular piece of art in the sky that has never been seen before nor will ever be seen again. What a miracle! I am not implying here that your suffering will disappear. It will come to fruition. Allow that to happen.
Yes Bd! Be open as the sky. When the tigers of life come and frighten you, allow these seemingly negative thoughts, feelings and worries into your sky. Let things be as they are and see your true humanity as it really is. A thought to reject though is the one that comes your way and says, “There is never a good reason to worry”. When that type of thinking is allowed in, it is the beginning of thought created spiritual idealism. That leads to human beings “attempting” to identify with someones philosophy rather than the true experince one is faced with.
Your experince is genuine Bd. Lean into it with your whole being.
With heart felt compassion towards you Bd,
Mark
Mark, While I understand the trap of what you call “spiritual idealism,” I do think it can be useful to have ideas to consider such as your example “There is never a reason to worry.” There is a difference between living out someone else’s story and exploring a path for oneself that a guide might suggest.
No one can really give us the answers, but they can suggest questions for us to ask and consider for ourselves.
The question here is “There is never a reason to worry” a true statement? Ernie makes the point that it is. If we were living the opposite belief, and suffering, then finding the truth could indeed be liberating. Not because we swallowed someone else’s belief as our own, but because we explored for ourselves and found that they spoke the truth.
There is a bit of video on this site from the August ’06 workshop, where Ernie talks about “the yearning” that we feel. Naming it is not the same as inventing it.
When you talk of the “subtle message” that “you are caught and need to be free†it seems we are talking about different things. The longing exists. If we are caught and suffering, we know it. We know something is wrong. And it is.
Though as you note, grasping for freedom as an ideal, and a way to escape the suffering, will not work. That simply crushes the butterfly.
Yet, there is something that can happen which transforms the human experience, including the fears. And there is a great and profound freedom in that.
I so appreciate both of your comments (Guy & Mark). I guess I get it & don’t get it all @ the same time… Have noticed my feelings coming up this a.m. & have then asked, as gently as I know how, “what’s going on?”… “what are you afraid of?” it’s the frightened little girl, I’m pretty sure. She’s pretty insecure & doesn’t feel “safe”, I guess… but “I” (?) want her to know that all is OK… the problem is that, as yet, she & I are wrapped up together… so “me” & “she” are the same… but I’m working on it! OK, maybe I’m not supposed to “work” on it… I’m trying to understand because I want to feel free & light… even naturally laughing might be a good thing… will re-look @ video too… thanks for the postings because it gives me stuff to chew on…
Bd,
I love where you are pointing at, “I get it and I don’t get it at all the same time”. Yes, to all of that space that you are seeing and allowing.
Guy, you seem like a nice guy!. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist)
While I am on a roll, there was a magazine that was released in July 1955 with an original profound quote from a famous individual. Do you know the magazine, person’s name and the quote? It was Mad Magazine, Alfred E Neuman, What? Me worry?
(Sorry, I couldn’t resist again)
Words are so limited from their true intentions. They are like shooting an arrow at a target but so many times the target is missed. After the arrows miss the target and are stuck into the ground, what are they then? It appears between the two of us communicating together, most likely both of our arrows are sticking into the ground. It sounds like Bd is being helped though. I have observed certain “word” debates about what the Tao Te Ching explains as, ” The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao”. It can get quite crazy. Can you imagine about thirty arrows going back and forth and eventually ending up all stuck in the ground?
Even though I think we both do not want to get into a debate with words, I would like to share some further thoughts on the subject.
One thing that can be observed an agreed upon is the love and compassion we both have for Bd. Amazing feeling to sense love for someone you have never seen. For me, I have abstained from chatting with this group until I read Bd’s email. My heart could not restrain itself from speaking. Even though Bd’s circumstances are a lot more intense than I have experinced, I can relate to her feeling, “No motion=Bad emotion”. I know that “overwhelming” feeling. It has visited me many times. When you can’t do it (life), it is not necessarily a simple “story” or an “illusion”, that one needs to be free from. Knowing this experince quite intimately is maybe why I spoke out with such a sharp emotionally dipped arrowhead.
I know the pain of feeling useless and the subtle “spiritual guilt” that can accompany it. During this dark muddled time, hearing messages like, “There is never a reason to worry” doesn’t help. It is very hard to lay naked before life without one motion available to create a feeling that you are someone and have worth. It goes right to the core of your ego as you look at it straight in your face. There is no escape. My “Mark” identity gets completely lost and there is nothing. Nothing being, “no form to live through” (can’t do it, life) Absolutely brutal. There is an opportunity to see something extrodinary during this time but it is a very uncomfortable moment. When one’s “stories” may be found out during this time, the stories can also be seen very linked to our humanity. My feeling is that you shouldn’t separate the two worlds as one being good and the other being bad which you need to be free from or “uncaught from”. It has been said that it is the ego that wants to be free from the ego. It has also been said that the very desire to get rid of the ego is the roots of one’s ego.
Looking staight at my Samsara wheel (perpetual ego, grasping, suffering) and being totally exhausted by trying to be free from it, a letting go happens like my sweaty weary fingers losing grip from myself. A not trying to get free from it in any form takes place while seeing it all. Then completely being swept away, through a collapsing of me, a complete giving up, a spontaneous effortless surrender to life in it’s “entirety”. It is in this where I sense this “full” present moment realized.
So it might be said that one can have fear, suffering, worry, I don’t get it, I get it (thank you Bd), joy, freedom, love, life in it’s entirety. And none of this fits into either word, good and bad. Touch your fear and you will be touching the Buddha. Life is full and beautiful!
I look at my quiver and that was my last arrow on the subject 🙂
Please send an arrow back if you wish. I will enjoy listening to whatver you have to say.
Thank you both for sharing your life and thoughts.
Mark
bd, Words alone are indeed of limited help, and can even get in the way. At the moment I don’t think I have anything to add which myself or Mark has not said. I believe Ernie said you have some of his workshop DVDs, and those are very very useful, as he explains it many different ways to different people; including where the traps are that tend to get us stuck.. Also, there is a “magic” if you will, about someone speaking from that state of being, and simply hearing the voice can often change us, especially when hearing it repeatedly. While editing the videos, I watched and listened to the same material many, many times. And I never got tired of it, as the words are not the point anyway. It is what he is pointing to which is beyond words.
If something else comes to me, I’ll add it…
Mark, I don’t think we disagree at all. I too have been where you describe, and where bd describes, which is why I responded as well. And as you say, it is in those times when the ego is cracked and shell can be broken. It provides a wonderful opportunity.
Seems the only place we disagree is that you seem to think I (and Ernie) are saying something which we are not… The workshop videos help to make that much more clear. Over time I’ll try to get more clips up here, and also compilations of workshop segments on a single DVD, which are cheaper to “try out.” If you or anyone has suggestions about what specifically you would like to see addressed on a low-cost introductory DVD, I’m all ears!
Thanks again to both Guy & Mark for giving me so much love & attention… when I went to bed last night, I reminded myself that people whom I don’t even know responded to my posting & I was truly touched & amazed! Sometimes I feel so lost! I so needed to hear from y’all & didn’t even know it! I love what you both wrote. Your words are beautiful & speak from the heart & yes, I understand that it’s not the words but what they’re pointing to. I re-listened to the clip here & yes, I will re-watch the DVD’s… you forget what aids you posess sometimes & need reminding! Thank you again from the bottom of my heart… & if hugs are allowed, I’m giving ’em!
bd, hugs are definitely allowed, and encouraged! The world could use as many as possible!
Hugs,
Guy